“If I died right now, my search history would become my biography.” -deletes ‘how to hide a body’
“If I sleep now, I’d get 2 hours. If I start a new book I get 0.” -opens my kindle.
“I wonder what would happen if the bus left without me on home day?”
“Did I pack enough underwear this time, or did I lie to myself?”
“He said ‘You don’t look 36.’ What does 36 look like? A crypt?”
“Why do I remember embarrassing things at 2am? and not my passwords?”
“Am I emotionally mature or just too tired to argue?”
“How early can I retire? Asking for my knees.”
“Why does Alberta have two seasons? Winter and construction?”
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